Just Say "NO"

You are the new teacher.  You are at the bottom of the food chain.  You have student loans to pay off and the rent is due.  You want to impress your new boss and make sure that you still have a job opportunity when your probation period is up. You feel compelled to say YES!  And oh, by the way, it goes without saying that you care about your kids. So, how in the world could you possibly answer the question:

When and how can you say no?​

And survive past one,

let alone survive past five!

Well, you better figure this out sooner, not later.  Because like it or not, you are about to start a  new job and profession where you will never be caught up.  To make matters worse, you have a whole slew of those extra bosses far removed from your classroom that will make every effort to flood your classroom with their good ideas.  The solution, however, just might not be as difficult as you may believe. 

Never Fear.

The Laws of Physics Are On Your Side.

Just Go

What's that, you say?

Well, it's pronounced  fah   -   WIMP  -  ut ,  with the accent on the middle syllable.  And it means you have 8 ways to say no.  FAWIMPOT is, in effect, the equivalent of paddling your canoe through the rapids. You can  paddle faster than the flow or slower than the flow and make it through.  But, if you simply go with the flow, you are going to impale yourself on the rocks. And lest you get the wrong impression from the middle syllable, there is absolutely no dishonor in learning when and how to say no.  So start paddling and

Make FAWIMPOT your action plan and start managing all those BO$$ expectations.  It is a key step toward realizing your full potential as a teacher while still allowing you to keep your life in balance.  It all starts with planning to fail.

That's right.  You need to make your failure plan.   The laws of physics provide you with 24 hours a day and the Bo$$e$ have long ignored that fact,their platitudes about your selfless service notwithstanding.   It is a mathematical certainty that, as a new teacher, you will have more on your plate than your 168 checkbook can fund. Something, or more likely, a few somethings won't get done. Be purposeful about this.  Don't let this choice occur by accident.  Likewise, don't fall into the trap of making that noble attempt to get it all done and then, inevitably, compromise even your most important tasks.  You might get by with that for a while, but you will eventually succumb to the pressures of a very unhealthy lifestyle and your students will suffer with you.  So, the first thing you must do is decide what key tasks you must complete well and the ones that, at the end of the day, could remain unaccomplished.  I have even had to decide which objectives I would have to sacrifice so that students could master more important ones, especially when students had entered one of my courses without the prerequisite skills.  This may not be as difficult, though,  as you might believe if you subscribe to 

Be - Know - Do.   

You see, our profession is

STUDENT CENTERED, NOT ADULT CENTERED.

That means that our first litmus for the importance of a given task is whether or not that task provides more or less support for students mastering our curriculum.   It does not mean that every task is an academic one.  It means, instead, that you choose your next task that as the one that benefits your students most.  I can guarantee that your list will separate into three categories rather quickly. 

Must Do

Should Do If You Can

Absolute BOONDOGGLES

The Boondoggles  (great word, roles off the tongue, so look it up) are those you can fail without hurting students.  They are focused on something that adults want and are usually presented as one of those Good Ideas fresh off the bus. In some cases, those boondoggles might be comparable to permitting your kids to attend a buffet dinner by starting at the desert table before they acquire the main course.  You should always accomplish your must dos, try to accomplish as many of the should dos as you can, and make a conscious decision to avoid the boondoggles whenever possible. 

Once you have your list, you should realize that this selection process is not a one time deal.  I used to do this as part of my lesson planning process and even had to occasionally update it on a given day.  The first great benefit to this process is that you are paddling the canoe rather than letting it remain at the mercy of the current.  The more important benefit, though, is that you have given yourself permission to fail.  In fact, you have empowered yourself to be successful at your most important tasks and simultaneously inoculated yourself against that self doubt that new teachers begin to experience when they realize they can't get it all done.  List in hand, it's now time to

ALLOCATE YOUR 168.

And while you are at it,

Carve Out Your Wellness Time.

Once again, you can choose to act consciously or you can throw yourself to the mercy of the currents.  Either way, physics rules. You simply cannot will the earth to slow its rotation, no matter what the Bo$$e$ might direct.  Even as an experienced teacher, I would routinely update my 168. The 168 drill in resources is a great way to get started.  It also yields a great visual aide to share with some of those Bo$$e$ who seem to have lost sight of classroom realities. It provides a great snapshot. However, a better way to infuse your lesson planning process with a dose of 168 reality would be to simply use a traditional weekly planner. You need one with a 24 hour grid (or at least an 18 hour grid) for Sunday through Saturday.  Your whole life unfolds over 7 days and you will, in all likelihood, spend some weekend time working on schoolwork. Interestingly enough, I had a difficult time finding one that had a full 24 hour day, but did find a few with 18 hour days. It seems that most business and school planners assume you won’t need the 24 hour version for those “after hours” sessions that most teachers endure.  The 168 drill provides a printable blank template that would work. Simply print a few and carry a notebook. You could even use a blank to “scatch out” a week at a time if that helps. 

Start by blocking out two critical obligations.  First, block out your required contract hours. You may not wish to hear this, but college is over.  You actually have a professional obligation to be on time and ready to perform when school is scheduled, not when you decide to get up and attend class.  I can just about guarantee that your new adult work day starts a lot earlier than you were accustomed to in college. And while we were at it, there are three rules about your professional approach to your workday.  

Early is On Time.

On Time is Late.

Late is Unacceptable.

You probably won't appreciate your students rushing into your class at the last moment and then quibbling about whether or not they are late.  So, why should your boss accept that behavior from you? That is not a good way to become empowered to say no.  

Now, block out your healthy sleep hours.  That's right, sleep is an obligation. That is another truth you may not have learned in college. Good and sufficient sleep is the foundation for wellness.  It also keeps you fresh and energetic in front of your class, less prone to overreaction when one or more of those students tries to play you just to see if they can win.   

Students get the best YOU when YOU are well rested.

So, in essence, you have to balance your life between your work requirements and your basic health requirements.  That means you have to get your extra tasks done when you are not teaching and not sleeping.  But that begs a new question.  How many hours a week is enough?

For 23 years, I dedicated somewhere between 55 and 60 hours per week , on average, to my teaching obligations during the 10 month school year.  It did not get a lot better over the breaks when I was either catching up or finally getting a chance to engage in professional development, course improvement, or trying to innovate and re-invigorate my courses.  At least my hours would start to resemble a more regular workweek during those periods.  That seems to be in line with what many studies indicate teachers are spending today.  It is worse for some teachers who have subjects with more extensive grading requirements or extra reporting requirements.  My heart goes out to language teachers, teachers for subjects where writing is critical, and special education teachers.  The very nature of their classes places them at risk for burning through their 168s in a hurry.   It is a sad sight, indeed, to witness some teachers rolling out  every evening with a suitcase full of papers to grade, and rolling back every morning with the same suitcase and circles under their eyes.  But is not an uncommon sight. So, just how many hours are enough?  What is a reasonable expectation?  

I have no simple answer for that question.  Your calendar is a snapshot of the possible.  So what possibilities do you need to consider,  We've talked about your required work hours and the necessity for sleep, but what else is necessary for a healthy balance between work and the rest?  In my last school, we were required to be in the building from 8 A.M. until 4 P.M.  Assuming that our doctors want us to get at least 8 hours of sleep, that leaves us 8 hours each school day for fitness and wellness, commuting,  meals, and "homework".  Unless, of course, you are a  band director or coach, because have no other life in season.  If I averaged coming in 30 minutes early to set up for classes and labs,  staying late 2 days per week for clubs or academic assistance,  spending 2 1/2 extra hours a school day and one afternoon every weekend grading and planning, I would have worked roughly 54 hours a week to get the job done. It also left me only about 3 hours a day after meals and commuting for fitness, family time, reading, thinking, or vegging.  I had a conference time, and used it for parent contacts and for whatever meeting, training, or extra duty that might come my way.   So I basically set my limit at 55 hours.  I also planned for the grading requirements for all of my assignments.  I knew that I would have to grade every assignment and would be allocating some future portion of my 168 to accomplish that "Must Do" task.

One last point about wellness.  It takes time.  You have to do the sleep, do the workout, and do the healthy eating which, by the way is not just about what you eat, but every bit as much about when and how you eat.  You also need time to cultivate and sustain healthy relationships outside of school.  My school districts were always touting wellness so that we could earn lower insurance premiums.  It is a great idea if, and it is a big if,  the district actually supports the program.  That support starts with respecting the time it takes before Bo$$e$ start sharing all their expectations about their good ideas.  I worked in one district where we had teachers who were coaches.  The district Bo$$e$ would tell them they appreciated the many hours they worked and wished they could have budgeted higher pay.  The Bo$$e$ even made a point to frequently and publicly to tell them how important they were to kids.  After all, those coaches were putting in 3 to 4  extra hours after school every day and often more on weekends.  It was even worse on competition days, especially when the competition was a distance away.   That is why it was pretty sad that when some of those coaches tried to use a portion of their planning time to work out.  They were basically ostracized and made to jump through hoops amid questions of accountability.  The final Bo$$e$ rationale was that we needed to know where they were in case a parent called. It seems that many of their Bo$$e$ were uncomfortable with the optics of teachers going for a run during the school day in spite of the fact that they were putting in 60 to 80 hours a week for school and there was virtually no other time for them to pursue wellness.  The district wide emails encouraging wellness, though, did not stop.

You deserve at least 3 hours a week to stay well  along with regular meal times.  Don't cheat yourself.  All of this leaves you with a great tool for saying no.

My 168 Checkbook is Out of Funds and You Can't Have My Wellness Time!

The next step in learning to say no, is to become invisible.   That's correct.  Put your "can't see me's" on and simply fade into the background whenever you can. By doing so, you save your "political capital", if you will, for those important times when you you really do need to push back and say no.  And there are several steps you can take to remain invisible in a way that will benefit you and your students..   

Stay in your lane.

Don't volunteer for anything.

Be a winner, not a whiner.

Avoid the Toxic Teacher Work Room.

Disconnect Your Social Media Life from your Teaching Life.

You have a job to do.  Focus on doing that job well.  Period.  In the Army, we had a saying.  Stay in your lane.  It simply meant you need not worry about others' missions, just your own.  If it is not your responsibility, don't sacrifice any portion of your 168 worrying about it.  Likewise, as a new teacher, give yourself time to evolve from recent college graduate to competent teacher.  Simply do not volunteer when the Good Idea Bus arrives.  Too many of those tasks may channel your way as it is, so there is absolutely no need to prematurely throw away those few extra hours in your 168.   There is also a teamwork aspect to staying in your lane.   Schools have many moving parts and you are but one of them.  New teachers do not need to become squeaky wheels.  And, in spite of my concerns about Bo$$e$ and the Good Idea Bus, I respect the fact that my princiPALs view the school from an elevated position that reveals a system with a lot of moving parts.  My primary role as teacher is to make my part run smoothly inside the bigger system.  Whiners annoy people, poison relationships, and tend to get little done.  At the very least, if you see an egregious problem that directly impacts you and your students, approach the situation as a winner would, having made the attempt to understand the bigger picture, armed with a recommended solution.  The one caveat to this approach is the obvious obligation to act when a situation involves issues requiring mandatory reporting, a legal breach, or serious lapse of judgement or integrity.   Winning, not whining, also requires that you make every attempt to avoid negative environments. And one of the most negative environments is many schools is the toxic teacher work room where too many teachers congregate to share complaints and tell tales.   Stay invisible here too!  Negativity tends to rub off and you don't have the time to waste on unproductive grumbling.  It will simply sap your energy and, left unchecked, destroy your teaching soul.  That does not mean you cannot commiserate.  Sharing a burden with a trusted friend or colleague is part of collaboration, which by its nature can be a positive experience.  And while we are at it,  there is another toxic environment you should learn to avoid, or at least disconnect from your teaching life, Social Media.   I will share some thoughts about the risks of social media in a future post, but for now, you would be wise to accept my advice and make sure that your teaching life and your social media presence, if you simply cannot do without one,  stay separate.  There are just too many pitfalls ready to consume you and your new teaching career if you don't keep them separate.  Remember, you are trying to empower yourself to say no when it really matters. And, just in case it has not occurred to you by now, once you become invisible, you have already said no in several important ways.  You've said no to wasting time and energy on tasks outside your lane, no to volunteering your 168 to extra duties when you were not called upon to do so, no to becoming a whiner, no to the toxicity of the negative teacher lair, and no to contaminating your professional teaching life with an inappropriate social media existence.   That is a great start to saying no in ways for which you  need no permission.  So, what do you do when you do need permission?

Ask What Would Your Mentor Would Do?

My 2nd blog post, Will You Still Be Teaching in 5 Years was all about finding a mentor.  Hopefully, you have found a good one.  If you have not, it is never too late, though it would certainly be better to have developed a relationship well before you found yourself needing to push back on authority.  The successful veterans in your building have found ways to cope with the bo$$e$ and their good ideas while still succeeding in their classrooms.  Observe them.  Ask them.  What are their "tricks of the trade"? How do they balance their 168?  How do they handle the fact that there will always be tasks they cannot accomplish?   Granted, there are veterans in almost every building that are on the verge of burn out, and many who resemble a duck, appearing calm above the service while paddling wildly below the surface to stay afloat.  On the other hand, they might be more like the duck that lets water simply roll off its back.   If your mentor has a good workaround for a situation, you might try it.  If your mentor is as frustrated as you are, you might simply follow your mentor's lead.  After all, you are a new teacher and there is no disgrace in following the lead of a trusted veteran.  Nor is there any disgrace in observing multiple veterans, as long as they are positive role models, when you are attempting to lists of must dos, should dos, and never dos.  Of course, when you are burning through your 168 and desperately trying to accomplish your must do tasks, you can always

PROCRASTINATE.

I know this may cause all of you impatient, type A, "gotta get it done now" types great pain.  But sometimes you simply have to adopt a philosophy for non critical tasks of

NEVER DO TODAY

WHAT YOU CAN PUT OFF UNTIL TOMORROW !

At least you get to say no today and ,who knows what tomorrow might bring.  In fact, you could kill yourself today, thinking you will be OK tomorrow, only to find that tomorrow would bring a new set of tasks to overload your 168.  Before you know it, you've racked up a string of overbooked days.  Worse, once you consume hours in your 168, you cannot get them back.  If you have the empty hours and can still take care of your sleep and wellness, fine.  Knock yourself out.  But if you are having to decide whether to sacrifice that balance, put the task off.  It is the kind of discipline your wellness requires.  So,  plan ahead.  When you are faced with chasing tasks that could be postponed without hurting your students, plan to procrastinate.  It's the healthy choice. Oh, and by the way, when everything is priority one, nothing is priority one. So, use that mentality when deciding which tasks are critical and which ones are not.

And that brings us to you next important healthy choice.  Know when you must 

The Always Connected Electronics Age Is a 24/7 Experience.

Unless You

Switch Off and Shut Down.

When one of my grandkids started school, his school principal sent home a welcome letter that included a very important note.  It simultaneously said NO to parents and affirmed awareness that teachers needed to protect,  in our electronic age, their 168s from 24/7 expectations.  Essentially, it told parents that teachers would respond to emails when their schedule would permit, given that they were fully engaged with their students during school.  It also informed parents that teachers would not respond to emails after 8 P.M.  In essence, teachers were empowered to "shut it down".  The school had their teachers' 168 backs, if you will.   On the other hand, I had an old school principal that believed telephone communication with parents was basically mandatory.  He did not particularly care for email, or many other information technology tools for that matter.  The problem was I had one planning period each day and could usually not make contact by telephone. So, to make those calls, I would have to deal with a number of logistics issues.  To call out, we had to use phones in our teacher workroom.  Even with those phones, we often could not call parents with cell numbers out of our area code.  I would often catch the parents at an inconvenient time if they were at work, or miss them entirely and have to call back.  And that process took another huge bite out of my 168.  Email, on the other hand, allowed me to carefully craft messages, send them at any time, and leave the in the parents' inboxes to read at their convenience.  My message included an invitation to speak by phone or in person with a time on my calendar that I could schedule.  Email also provided me a record of every exchange.  There will always be circumstances that might require a telephone call and there are still a few parents out there without email.  Frankly, though, I was able to use email much more effectively (and affectively) over the years.  

Now in case you were wondering why I didn't just use my cell phone from home,  I learned two important lessons along the way.  I had fellow teachers who had used their cell phones and, for all intents and purposes, had offered their personal phone numbers to the world.  It amounted to an open invitation for calls and texts from certain impatient parents. They were the ones who never seemed aware that teachers had any need for a break in their 168.  In a few cases, teachers got abusive calls or texts. I always, from day one, refused to use my personal phone number for "business".  Period.  If my Bo$$e$ wanted me to call from MY PERSONAL CELLPHONE, they could issue me one.  That meant I would usually have to stay after school to get a hold of parents, especially when my planning period was during a time of day when I could not easily make contact,  times like first period or over lunch. When that happened and I had to stay late, I would set a time limit.  On an average day, I spent at least 9 hours in the building to meet my 8 hour requirement.  you know, 30 minutes early, 30 minutes late. So, I made myself get out of the building at 10 hours.  In essence, that was my time to flip the switch to OFF.  Needless to say, email proved a much better tool for all of these same reasons and the vast majority of my parents agreed  .

Two last points about switching off and shutting down. First, on your 168, mark an hour that you call your "shut down" hour.   Make that the hour that you literally set to stop doing school work every day.  Remember those suitcase toting teachers with dark circles under baggy eyes!  You cannot stay healthy, mentally, emotionally, or physically, if you don't schedule that switch.   Second, you would be well advised to use that same switch to turn off your social media.  I know.  You can't.  You're addicted.  I will talk more about this issue in a future post called

My Screen is My Life.

How Sad is That? 

And that brings us to the final step in learning to say NO !  You have prioritized your task list, set up your 168 and carved out some wellness time. You've said no to wasting time and energy on tasks outside your lane, stopped volunteering for extra duties,  and avoided the toxicity of the  teacher workroom.  You are definitely not a whiner, but striving for a place in the positive thinking camp.  You mined your mentor for every secret he or she could share. You've even managed to flip the switch on all of your electronic connections.  But your 168 still cannot fund your work obligations. What do you do? Well, the answer is pretty simple.  You should

Turn the Tables

on your Actual Boss.

This process recognizes that accountability channels in two directions, not just one. PrinciPALs are in charge.  "In charge" requires leadership.  Leadership is about empowering subordinates to get the job done, not simply telling them to get the job done. That does not mean that you can ignore your own obligations.  After all, most of the FAWIMPOT is about you being proactively accountable and respectful of your leader's prerogatives.  Unfortunately, as our discussion about Bo$$e$ has highlighted, education is plagued by too many good ideas from too many out of touch bo$$e$, no matter how good their intentions might be.  Consequently, on more than a few occasions, my tasks exceeded my resources, including my 168.  In essence, I had worked my way through FAWIMPOT and arrived at a conclusion that something important would still not get done.  When that happened, I used my best judgement, amended my failure plan, dusted off my 168, and shared the situation, including my plan for dealing with it, with my princiPAL.  I always placed my students' welfare and success in my assigned curriculum high on the list.  And  I would always communicate my receptiveness should they exercise their prerogatives to choose failure of a different type, ie, do this, not that.  It also gave my princiPAL the opportunity to school me should he or she find a flaw in my approach. Being receptive in this way is part of every princiPAL's job.  If yours is not, follow the advice at the bottom of the next paragraph.

I always had my plan ready in writing, even if only in a note or email to myself, in case of that rare occasion when I would get one of the classic superficial responses.  One such response might be reference to a certain contract clause.   That's the clause that basically says professionals spend whatever time it takes, as if Bo$$e$ were entitled to pay for their own leadership shortcomings by assuming there is no limit on your 168.  Another one might be some rendition of "too bad, how sad, but we have to suck it up because we care about kids".   That is code for "I know it's a problem, but it is too hard to solve, so I will simply elect not to address it."  In the meantime, you get more pressure to exhaust yourself. Finally, I have, on a few rare occasions, encountered bo$$e$ who were not receptive to any push back, no matter how well thought out it might be.  They are out there.  When you, the not yet tenured new teacher,  encounter this one, your next step is simple. Default to Invisible as long as you can and, in the meantime, dust off your resume.  You really don't want to be on that team.  

Look for other posts related to this one.

The Good Idea Bus

Your 168 Checkbook

The Data Trap (It can be a real 168 burner)

Too Many Bosses